But that’s seems to be where your focus is. no, you’d make him go. Parental responsibility doesn't automaticaly give a parent the right to see a child. This means, you're obligated to make a child in your care available for visits with the other parent as laid out in the custody order.A parent may have a different role in making visits happen for a four-year old child versus a 14 year-old one. When Your Child Doesn't Want to Visit You. It's to give them a say in the child's upbringing, jabs or school for example. Michael can encourage open communication by letting his children know they are not responsible for the way he feels and that when problems arise, solutions can’t be found unless everyone is willing to share their thoughts and feelings via communication. In September 2016, in Dallow v. Dallow, 2016 WL 4729551, the Supreme Court of Georgia issued an order finding that the mother was not in contempt when the child did not want to visit the father, because she did not actually interfere or withhold visitation. Most custody orders don’t spell out a parent’s role in facilitating visitation other than making a child available for visits. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. Feeling rejected hurts at any age, but it is important for you to not only discuss with your child why they don't want to visit you but to be self-aware of how you may are acting when your child is around. A judge won’t be swayed by one parent’s argument that a toddler refused visitation. My custody agreement with my child’s father is “as mutually agreed upon”. Is there anyone who has successfully approached the court at 13 and feel that they received a fair audience? This article is about parents of teenagers and those parents accepting that no teen wants to be forced to spend time with either parent when they’d rather be with their friends. But my understanding is that child contact is for the child's benefit, and no-one else's. The custodial parent’s attorney has a … Unfortunately, I think he is justified in feeling this way, as I have been the recipient of his anger when we were married and since. Your snide remarks are really not very helpful, even though you may think you mean well. This may apply even if your child is not feeling well or has an activity on that day. The older the child is, the more adamant they are about not wanting to visit their father. This left Michael to wonder if he had done something wrong or if someone else was influencing Craig and undermining his relationship with Craig. The legal answer may be “yes” even though the ethical answer could be “no” in some situations. When a child refuses to visit with a parent, this scenario (1) prompts distrust and suspicion between the parents, (2) creates an awkward situation between the parents and the child, and (3) puts both parents in legal jeopardy if they don’t handle the situation appropriately. Your poor daughter sounds desperate. Divorce can impact a parent-child relationship in profound ways, especially for the non-custodial parent. This is how life, and especially divorce, works. What would they do? It gives Hera sense of power also . She should just accept that the new normal is she won’t receiving that money anymore. You may also want to ask for supervised visitation, but it's a crapshoot. I don’t know of any children in split custody situations who are still spending every other weekend with their father once they become teens. It isn’t about tit-for-tat and who gets to see the son more. for example, the judge must consider whether and how any changes in the parenting schedule would impact michael and craig’s parent-child bond; the judge can take craig’s wishes into account, but cannot abdicate his own responsibility to ensure the child is harmed the least (and estrangement is a serious harm to the child AND to the parent). They demand to be recognized as superior -- even if they’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve it. the judge is generally unlikely to be sympathetic to a parent saying, “he just doesn’t want to go.” the parent is the one responsible to see the order is followed. When a child is sick or otherwise unable to make a visit, the parent with present custody of the child must notify the other parent as soon as possible and work out a make-up visit. I am having problems with my daughter who will be 7 in May, in regard to her father. My passions include helping couples who feel disconnected or distressed learn to reconnect emotionally and communicate more effectively as well as helping individuals explore and work through difficult life transitions and personal struggles... Read More. I have been separated from her father for ... Read more on Netmums To become part of the DivorcedMoms writing team, click submit below for our guidelines. “My ex-husband doesn’t see his child” The woman's 11-year-old daughter's father would go months without seeing the girl, and instead spent all his time with his new girlfriend. It will give Michael time with Craig and Craig time to exert his independence and “hang” with his friends. I also made sure that “not at mom’s” weekend was boring with lots of chores. the aggrieved parent may (quite reasonably) feel that if anyone is to lose time, if should first come from the parent who has had more parenting time, and at the very least lost time should be split between the parents. Given their history and closeness, Michael was confused and hurt by Craig’s lack of desire to participate in their regular visitation schedule. For example: “My child doesn’t have a very good relationship with her father, and she doesn’t want to … Note that in cases where ‘standard’ visitation is awarded — every-other-weekend — fathers become depressed and non-involved, and within 3 years, one study found, 40 percent of children in an unequal visitation arrangement had lost complete touch with their non-custodial parents, which are nearly always the father. We still spent time together and have a wonderful relationship today. If teenagers are forced then what you end up with is an aggrieved teen and that won’t be fun for anyone, especially the teen. You need to be careful here, because sometimes a judge will change custody if the judge believes you are not fostering the childs relationship with the other parent. No helpful advice for you. Craig turned 14 and became less and less interested in spending Friday through Sunday night with his father. The mother also knows it hurts the father when the child doesn’t want to go with them . I know I don’t want my ex anywhere near my son and I if I’m working through an issue with my son. I doubt that after having an amicable divorce she would then refuse her ex-husband visitation. You are doing great harm by suggesting anyone should refuse to comply with court orders. You suggesting otherwise, is an expression of shitty parenting. What we have to do is make sure our children learn that they are safe in communicating with us. Sue Johnson said: “To be human is to need others, and this is no flaw or weakness.” Taking the first step toward healing can be hard, and my desire is to provide safety and acceptance in that vulnerability, walking alongside clients on their journey. He has refused to have any sort of relationship with me since I ended things. I agree with VeronicaGia. It didn’t work. "The child doesn't want to go" is not a valid reason for blocking parenting time, so not only can you make her come, your ex has an obligation to insist on it as well. They have an unreasonable sense of entitlement always; they want favorable treatment; they demand instant submission and compliance (especially from partner and children); they lack feelings of remorse, sympathy, or empathy for anyone in any situation, and they will exploit people to meet their warped needs and will do it until they die. Michael’s scheduled parenting time will need to turn into shared parenting time with Craig’s friends and interests. If you do not send the child to visitation, the childs father could file contempt of court action against you. Yes, if they were still married, Mike and Jennifer would have to sit down *together* with their child to work things out. even parents who were previously “reasonable.”. I went through this with my ex wife. and those things don’t even have the force of a court order behind them. When a child is sick or otherwise unable to make a visit, the parent with present custody of the child must notify the other parent as soon as possible and work out a make-up visit. When I used the phrase, “any reasonable parent, I wasn’t referring to you. However, the location of the father's residence is not an issue. the parents are legally responsible for following the custody order (if one is in place). Just because his father lives in a different location and the child will have different friends...it's unavoidable until the father lives with you or on the same block. If there is a long history of amicability with the ex, it only makes sense to do whatever needs to be done to allow that to continue. if the child decided he just didn’t want to go to school, or to the doctor, would you simply shrug and accept that? Author and therapist Sam J. Buser has written a … Your children have a right to see both their parents too. If one parent didn’t follow the custody order, and the other retaliated by refusing to follow the support order, the judge would not be forgiving towards either one of them. It is all very subtle and hard to prove - only the word of my son, whom I believe because I have no reason not to do so. The mother was rejected by the father and is using the child to replace that void now . The parent has done everything in their power to make the kid go. 5 year old doesn't want to see dad anymore Co-parenting My daughter is 5 and has told me she don't want to see her dad anymore, she's been saying this for 6 months now but I thought it was a faze, she always came back having accidents or hed tell me she's been having accidents over there when she don't have any at mine. A person with NPD (narc. Custody cases never end so long as there is a child for the court to hold authority over. On one hand, the custodial parent doesn’t want to face penalties or possible jail-time for violating a court-imposed custody schedule. Older children and teenagers may want to have a say in when and how they see … For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. In September 2016, in Dallow v. Dallow, 2016 WL 4729551, the Supreme Court of Georgia issued an order finding that the mother was not in contempt when the child did not want to visit the father, because she did not actually interfere or withhold visitation. Thanks to anyone who can truly relate. My goal is for my son to have a good and peaceful life, and is not motivated by anything to do with his father outside of his treatment of my son. These type of problems are way more complicated, from an emotional point of view… than just going to court. 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